SWWIM publishes, celebrates, & promotes women, women-identifying & Femme-presenting writers through a Miami-based reading series & the online poetry journal SWWIM Every Day.

Exiting higher education or What I learned about professors before becoming one myself by Sarah Bigham

1. The professor will never make eye contact with you

if you sit a tier below a student who wears

no underwear, and wide-legged shorts.

 

2. If the professor starts the semester by taking

Polaroid photos of individual students in

order to follow a name memorization technique

he learned at a recent educational conference,

you will be forever known as Bridget while

Bridget, who sits two rows ahead of you,

to the right, will be known as Sarah.

 

3. During office hours, when you arrive to talk about

an upcoming assignment, a professor may be wearing

a kilt and playing the bagpipes at full strength with

closed eyes and a claret-hued face as shiny as a beetle’s.

It is wise to leave the room at such times.


Sarah Bigham teaches, writes, and paints in Maryland where she lives with her kind chemist wife, three independent cats, and an unwieldy herb garden. Her work appears in a variety of great places for readers, writers, and listeners. Find her at www.sgbigham.com.

Penelope Complaining to Her Mother by Paula Persoleo

Heirlooms by Stephanie Lane Sutton