there was a season of disappointments
where supportive friends were hard to find
needing a sign, i drove down to Chinatown to
play among strangers
they don’t know me,
they don’t owe me anything
they are there for their own M.O.
i was there to ask my guides to speak to me
like how people ask the tarot cards their questions
i asked the mahjong game to give me guidance
when humans fail, spiritual guides need to speak to me
i begged my guides to tell me i can win at life
that night, i won an unusual number of games through self-pick
zi moh
that night, i learned i could win on my own strength
duk laap
and the image of ass-kicking Lucy Liu and her angels
with Destiny’s Child singing
taught me that
i could
depend on me.
