The Department of [X] at [Y] University seeks a faculty member with expertise in [A] with a secondary emphasis in [B] and ability to teach [C]; and who will contribute to the department’s stated commitment to fostering diversity, equity, and inclusion.
The candidate will be hired as part of a diversity program, which means one year of probation before the possibility of tenure-track conversion. A good “trial run,” a colleague will say. “Of course we want you, but we have to make sure you want to be here too,” another will say.
The candidate will teach a standard X/X load and maintain an active research agenda.
When the candidate proposes a new course in their field, the curriculum committee will express concern about the candidate’s expertise and ability to teach said new course.
In a course evaluation, a student will write that it’s “cool that [the candidate] seemed to be learning the material along with us.”
A colleague will express disappointment that the candidate, whose field is American literature, does not speak Japanese.
The candidate will fulfill service duties at the departmental and university levels, including serving on the anti-racism committee. The candidate will be the face of the department at recruitment events.
At the anti-racism department retreat, a colleague will complain to the candidate that the avocado in her vegan sushi is brown.
A colleague will question the candidate’s ability to use commas.
A colleague will say that the candidate’s face looks like an apple; he’d love to take a bite.
Note that due to the inordinate privileges afforded by the diversity hiring program, the candidate may never ask for travel funding or course release or research leave.
The candidate must never ask for anything.
The candidate, by being a candidate, has already asked for too much.
Christine Kitano is the author of the poetry collections Birds of Paradise (Lynx House Press) and Sky Country (BOA Editions). Dumb Luck & other poems (Texas Review Press) won the Robert Phillips Poetry Chapbook Prize. She is an associate professor at Stony Brook University where she directs the BFA in Creative Writing.
photo by Carolyn Kehler
From September 14-25, in honor of her residency at The Betsy Hotel and our 10th anniversary season, SWWIM Every Day will be featuring a selection of poems curated by Sarah Audsley.
Sarah Audsley is the author of Landlock X (Texas Review Press, 2023). A Korean American adoptee, a graduate of the MFA Program for Writers at Warren Wilson College, and a member of The Starlings Collective, Audsley lives and works in northern Vermont. She serves as the Writing Program Director at Vermont Studio Center.
We hope you enjoy this special collaboration!