by Karen Elizabeth Sharpe
I aimed to be 
loved, or at least necessary. 
I didn’t know 
I could say no. 
Pointed at my body: 
This old thing? Just slipped it on. 
Later, I said no 
but my voice was only inside. 
I had studied at the school 
of the encrypted. Father’s 
teasing, nameless women, 
Penthouses, Playboys 
under the beds, crumpled. 
Mother’s slim magazine lessons 
Dictating: stay skinny 
keep your man happy 
dinner in 30 minutes or less. 
Dinner in 30 minutes. Or less 
keeping your man happy. 
Dictating: stay skinny 
mothers. Slim magazine lessons 
under the beds. Crumpled 
Penthouses, Playboys 
teasing. Nameless women 
of the encrypted fathers. 
I had studied at the school 
but my voice was only inside. 
Later, I said no. 
This old thing. Just slipped it on, 
pointed at my body. 
I could say no. 
I didn’t know. 
Loved, or at least necessary 
I aimed to be.
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